The Count's World 14: Springtime for Dimentio
by The Great Allie
Summary: In order to figure out what it means to be happy, Dimentio tries to win the affections of Lady Bow by making a deal with a nasty Shaman.
1. 14 dash 1

_For quite the longest time I've enjoyed exploring Dimentio. I like to think of him, not as a born sociopath, but someone who was conditioned to view the rest of the world as expendable in order to reach his own goals. Of course, someone born with human emotions (if you'll forgive the use of the word 'human') will always have them in some sense, and now that Dimentio is looking for meaning, I think it's very likely he'd try to resurrect them. Attention all Dimi shippers: This story will not threaten their pairing in Count's World Continuity._

_Happy belated Easter, btw, if you celebrated it. I know I did. I love Easter because it means to me that no matter how badly I screw up, because of it I can always be forgiven. That means a lot to me as someone who royally screws up on a weekly basis.  
_

* * *

One afternoon in Castle Bleck, it was the day of Count Bleck's fabulous party. He was quite excited about it, buzzing around the castle making sure everything was just so. All the food was being prepared, and Mimi and O'Chunks were in the kitchen making meat patties for the main course. It had been mixed and spiced, so all that was left was for it to be shaped, baked, and served. O'Chunks was showing Mimi how to prepare them, as they were a dish from his homeland, and Mimi was enjoying herself making them.

"Okay," said O'Chunks. "Now, what yeh wanna do, is yeh take the meat from the bowl and slap it down like so on the table. It's gonna be a mite sticky on yer hands, but jes' work it and knead it 'til yeh got a nice patty."

He lifted Mimi up until she was over the kitchen table, even with the large bowl. She reached in and grabbed a big glob of wet meat and slapped it onto the counter. "Ooh!" she squealed. "It's all gooky in my hands!"

She began to shape it. O'Chunks, with his larger hands, slapped a bigger pat of meat and shaped it like a pro. "This is a great treat," he said, "that the women would make fer the men-folk when they came home from the battles."

"You know, I don't know why people don't spend more time with you," said Mimi as she wiped her hands on her designer apron. "You're really an interesting guy."

O'Chunks looked up. "Ey, d'ya 'ear that?"

"Yeah, I was just talking."

O'Chunks waved his hand to shush her. "Not that, ye wee silly. Lissen."

Mimi heard humming. But not just any humming. Mimi heard _Dimentio _humming. She couldn't believe her ears. And then he floated into the room, chin high, a strange grin plastered across his mask.

"Good afternoon, Mimi. O'Chunks." He nodded to them and began digging through the cupboard for something to eat, still humming.

"I know that song," said O'Chunks.

"Do you?" Dimentio said over his shoulder.

"Sure, it's a ballad from me 'omeland. Ma used teh sing it to me when I was but a wee chunk off the ol' block." He cleared his throat and sang in a surprisingly on-key baritone:

_I know where I'm going, I know who's going with me  
I know who I love, and he knows who I'll marry  
Feather beds are soft and painted rooms are bonny  
But I would trade them all for strong and handsome Johnny_

"My goodness, O'Chunks," said Dimentio, "your normally crass and ill-bred way of speaking belies a surprisingly alluring singing voice." He clapped his hands. "It is like the delicate strings of the lute being elegantly plucked by the large, meaty fists of a neanderthal. Bravo."

"Eh?" O'Chunks scratched the back of his head.

Dimentio pulled a Choco-bar out of the cabinet, peeled it, and took a small bite. "Write it down as a compliment, my friend." Then he floated out of the room, still humming.

O'Chunks went back to shaping the patty. "Now what d'yeh suppose that was all about," he mused thoughtfully.

Mimi covered her mouth and giggled. "Don't you get it?" she asked.

"Nah," said O'Chunks. "I never know just what 'e's on about. Try not t' dwell on it."

"Isn't it obvious? Dimentio's in _love_!"

O'Chunks accidentally squeezed the meat patty so hard it exploded out of the gaps between his big, beefy fingers and slopped all over the table. "Yeh aren't serious, are yeh? No, 'at's jes'... Ah mean... is 'e even _capable _of feelin' love?"

"Well, sure, everyone is," said Mimi.

O'Chunks shrugged and scooped up the meat over the table. "Ah guess," he said, "only it jes' don't seem right."

Count Bleck passed through the kitchen next, looking out into space in front of him. Mimi flagged him down. "Hey, Count?"

"Hm? Said Count Bleck?"

Mimi ushered him over to the island. "Can you help us settle something?"

"I'll do my best," said Count Bleck. "Are those the meat patties for the dinner party tonight? They look delectable."

"Yeah," said Mimi. "Look, have you seen Dimentio around the castle today?"

"Yes, I have," said Count Bleck.

"Do you think he's in love?"

Count Bleck laughed. "Oh, absolutely! He reminds me of me, the first time I went home after I met Timpani. Those moony eyes, that airy way of floating around, the song in his heart. That boy has got it bad," Count Bleck finished.

Mimi looked at O'Chunks triumphantly. "There, you see?"

"May Count Bleck go now?"

"Yeah, you're done here."

Count Bleck left.

O'Chunks shook his head. "Never thought I'd see the day," he said. "But, well, stranger things 'ave 'appened, yeh know."

"I know, like you being able to sing eight bars in a row on key?"

O'Chunks tossed a speck of meat that landed in her hair. Mimi squealed and combed it out, and they went back to making patties for the Count's dinner party.

* * *

Count Bleck invited nobles and commoners alike to enjoy a large dinner party in his castle. Friends he had made from all over had been invited, such as the guests of Princess Peach at her tea party, some Sammer Guys from Sammer's Kingdom, Mayor Dour, Doopliss, and Cousin Jen from Twilight Town, and plenty of others. He was having a delightful time playing host, serving the courses and engaging in advanced conversation.

Tippi rested on the brim of Count Bleck's hat, watching the crowd. "Who all is here?" she asked.

"Everybody and their sibling," replied Count Bleck. "I do believe some people who didn't receive invitations have attended," he added with a smirk.

"Oh, dear."

"Don't worry, my love. There is more than enough dinner for everyone, and this means that people do not fear Count Bleck the way they used to. That is a tremendously good thing." He tapped his hat with his cane. "Life is good, isn't it, Timpani?"

"It certainly is."

Dimentio floated past, scanning the crowd. Count Bleck intercepted him with a big ol' grin. "Ah, Dimentio! Is your '_petite amie'_ in attendance?"

"Have you seen her?" asked Dimentio.

"I don't know who she is."

"Never mind," said Dimentio. "I've located her with magic."

Count Bleck waved his finger. "Ah-ah-ah."

Dimentio sighed, and said, "Never fear, oh, Count, for I have located her... with magic!" And he disappeared off to somewhere else.

"I hope he's successful," said Tippi. "A girlfriend would do him wonders, don't you think?"

Dimentio had located the object of his interest- Lady Bow, chatting up some Railway Toads with Bootler by her side. She had her fan out, by her cheek, and was laughing daintily at something. Oh, her laugh, it was like the tinkling of a thousand church bells. And her smile was like the malicious grin of a Fighterfly who had happened upon its enemy.

Dimentio cut in. "Pardon me, my dear, but might I trouble you to allow me into this conversation?"

"Buzz off," she said.

"I would to please you," said Dimentio, "but that would not be something I would enjoy, myself."

"Buzz off, _creep_," she clarified.

"Now, now, is that any way to speak to a gentleman when he's here to request courtship with the young lady?" Dimentio bowed.

Lady Bow, Bootler, and the railway Toads stared at him for a good, long, quite humiliating moment. Then Lady Bow fanned herself and laughed out loud. This laugh was much different from the dainty laugh of a few minutes ago. This one was embarrassing.

Finally, she managed to say, "You? Court _me_? Oh, no, no, I don't think that would do at all. That's absolutely ridiculous, to even think that!"

"Why must you rub it in?"

Lady Bow tossed her head and flicked her little hands. "Now, if you'll excuse me--" she said as she turned away, but Dimentio cut her off.

"Please, my lady, why do you reject my ever so polite advances?"

Lady Bow sneered. "Well, because you're not nobility, like me, and you're not a boo, like me, and you're a _creep_."

"That's quite enough, my lady," said Bootler. "Let's not make a spectacle of this."

"You're quite right, Bootler," said Lady Bow. "Come, let's finish this conversation in the sitting room." She gestured for the railway Toads to follow her.

Dimentio was standing, hanging in the air, every bit of him drooping. His mouth was slightly open, each point on his jester's hat halfway down his back. Finally, he lifted a black hand feebly, gave a halfhearted wave in the direction she'd exited, and said weakly, "Very well, then... I shall leave you as alone as a tumbleweed blowing past the railroad tracks of the Kalamari Desert."

Mimi, who had seen everything, cautiously stepped up beside him. "Oh. Wow. Um... wow. That was--"

"Thank you for your articulate assessment of the situation, Mimi," said Dimentio.

"Do you need a hug?"

Dimentio clicked his fingers and disappeared.


	2. 14 dash 2

Dimentio stayed in his room for the rest of the party. Count Bleck left a dinner for him outside of his door and knocked to let him know, but Dimentio did not come out. The next morning, though, the plate was empty and back outside so at least he'd eaten. Other than that he gave no sign of life from his room.

Count Bleck sought out his other minions the day after the party. He found them outside the castle, playing one-goal soccer with a rolled-up melon bug. O'Chunks was goaltender, and Mimi and Mr. L were trying to get the ball past him (in one-goal soccer, whoever got the ball past the goalie got a point. The goalie gets a point for every goal he blocks.) Nastasia was sitting on the side, keeping score on her clipboard. O'Chunks, being slightly bigger than the goal of two white stick bushes evenly spaced, was winning by a large margin.

Count Bleck cleared his throat and said, "Ahem! Count Bleck would like your attention."

Mr. L took the ball from Mimi and ran up the court, with Mimi running after him. He made a wide turn and darted back for the goal, leaving her behind on the far end. He kicked the ball and it soared over O'Chunk's head. O'Chunks tried to rocket up to grab it, but he was too late.

"That's a point for me!" Mr. L cried out. "Nassy, mark it down!"

Nastasia straightened her glasses. "Yeah, so the Count just tried to call for attention. So I'm gonna go ahead and say that when he did, you should have gone right into time out. Yeah, so that means that your goal didn't count."

"Wh-- but that's not fair!" Mr. L made a T with his hands. "No way, no way! I scored that goal fair and square!"

Nastasia made a turn-around gesture with her finger. Mr. L turned around and saw Count Bleck standing nearby, tapping his stick impatiently. "Oh!" said Mr. L, surprised. "Count! How long have you been there?"

"Minions, I'd like your attention," he said as if there had been no interruption. "As you already may well know, Dimentio has suffered a bit of a difficult disappointment as a result of a meeting during my dinner party last night."

"Turned him down flat," Mr. L said to Mimi out of the side of his mouth. Mimi covered her mouth and giggled.

"As such, I would appreciate very much if you would make sure to be kind to him in the coming days, continued Count Bleck as if he had not heard. At least until he regains his old confidence."

"Yeh can count on me, Count," said O'Chunks.

"Yeah, okay," said Mr. L.

"Sure, Count!" said Mimi.

Nastasia nodded. "Mm-hm."

"Got it, boss," said the melon bug.

The others turned to look at him, now standing beside the others.

"What?" He looked at them quizzically. "I just wanted to fit in," he said.

"Where did you find a melon bug?" asked Count Bleck.

"Yoshi's Island," replied Mr. L.

"Ah. Of course. Now, can I count on you?"

"Yeah, I guess," said Mr. L. "Only, don't tell us 'be nice to Dimentio' and expect us to really take it seriously."

"Yeah," added Mimi. "I mean, come on, Count."

Nastasia stood up. "Actually... I think I should probably, um, go and talk to him. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do." She set the clipboard down.

"'Ey, Nassy, if yeh leave, we can't play no more!"

"Count Bleck can keep score," offered Count Bleck.

"Um..." Mimi, Mr. L, and O'Chunks all exchanged anxious looks. "Do you know how to play one-goal soccer?"

"No, said Count Bleck, but the rules should be simple enough, right?"

"Ah..."

Nastasia slipped away quietly and went straight for Dimentio's room. She knocked politely on the door and said, "Dimentio? It's Nastasia. Yeah, so, can I, um, speak to you?"

"Go away," said a muffled voice.

Nastasia tried the door and saw that it wasn't locked. She opened it carefully and saw Dimentio lying on his bed over the bedspread, with a large pillow over his face. That explained the muffled voice. "Dimentio, I really think we ought to talk."

Dimentio peered out from under the pillow. "Can't you see I'm drowning in an endless torrent of self pity? Thank you, please close the door on your way out."

Nastasia closed the door, but she stayed in the room. "Come on," she said. "I know it hurts now, but you'll heal... eventually," she added with a slight frown.

"Don't you think I know that?" he snapped. "But let me ask you this, my good Nastasia, does the knowledge of cooling salve ease the burns as you remain trapped in the raging fire?"

"Um... no, it doesn't."

"That's right." He mashed the pillow back over his face and said something that Nastasia was certain was about her love life.

"Dimentio, please come out."

Dimentio threw the pillow aside and sat up. "You know what it is like, of course, to be told straight out by the one you desire that you will never be an object of affection for them, don't you?"

"Dimentio," said Nastasia firmly.

"To think that I, Master of Dimensions, Pleaser of Crowds, can be reduced to such a state by the rejection of another. Me, who never depended on anybody else to provide happiness or comfort."

"Dimentio," said Nastasia, "was this your first crush?"

Dimentio glared at her. "I long ago separated myself from the need to connect with others," he said. "It was voluntary. Certainly I desired many others in my life, yet I always decided to move past. To achieve my goals, I could have no one else slowing me down. I began to view other people as obsticles, tools, or useless rabble.

"Oh, of course, lately I thought the time was right for a change. You and the others spouting off about love and friendship makes me sick, yet you're always so insufferably happy and I, I am desolate. So I decided to pursue this 'love' and finally open the way to happiness, and what does it get me? Not the happiness I long for, oh, of course not, but a lurching, throbbing heartache."

When he was finished he seemed out of breath. He was now standing on his bed, panting slightly, and glaring at Nastasia as if he was about to lash out. He didn't move, though, nor did he continue.

"I had no idea," she said softly.

Dimentio sat down on the bed. "The worst part is, even knowing how she feels for me I can't leave her in my past. Still I feel I would do anything in order to be with her."

Nastasia sat down next to him. "It hurts. I know."

"I don't understand," said Dimentio. "I understand nothing of love. Why do I desire someone who hurts me?"

"You can't understand it," Nastasia replied. "You can only live it."

"I would do anything to understand," said Dimentio.

"Or anything to be with her."

Dimentio winced, but didn't deny it.

"I remember one time I wanted to go to the Shaman of Land's End and have him turn me into a human woman, just like Timpani, so Count Bleck would love me," said Nastasia.

"But you didn't."

"The price was too steep," she replied, "and anyway, he would never love me just because I looked like her."

"No..." Dimentio said thoughtfully. "Not if you tried to look like someone he already knew...

She cleared her throat. "Yes, but that story doesn't leave this room, right?"

"Absolutely," said Dimentio, "so long as my, ah, little outburst also remains sealed within these walls as well."

"Deal."

"Lovely."

Nastasia stood up. "I'm going to go back to work. Will you be all right here by yourself now?"

"Absolutely," he said, his voice a bit distant. He was thinking hard.

"You know where to find us if you need anything," she said.

Dimentio didn't reply. He was staring at a spot somewhere over her head.

"Dimentio?" she said.

"Yes?" He snapped to attention.

"Goodbye," she said.

"Goodbye," said Dimentio. "And for what it's worth, you've always been absolutely lovely to me regardless. It's wonderful of you to be kind to somebody who's gone out of his way to make you miserable for his own pleasure."

"Sure," said Nastasia, a bit confused. "That's, um, what family is."

"Goodbye," he said again.

Nastasia closed the door, a bit confused, but quickly forgot the exchange as her mind went back to her job and the many items still unchecked on her to-do list.

As soon as Nastasia was gone, Dimentio closed and locked his door, and then opened the French doors onto his balcony. He stood on the edge of the balcony, his stomach pressed against the bar, as if trying to look into the horizon. Finally, a strange smile creeping across his face, he said, "Yes... yes, why not? Only... my power is not in that realm... but if the stories are true..." Still leaning, looking for something unseen to anyone else, he slowly raised his fingers and snapped.

And with that, he was gone.


	3. 14 dash 3

_Three things:_

_1) To my brother, I know you're sick of The Little Mermaid, but I've been planning this for a very long time. So... yeah, sorry._

_2) I'm going to start adding, at the beginning of each story, what other Mario games besides Super Papes are involved in the story. For this one, it's Paper Mario and Super Mario RPG (Land's End, Shaman) Hopefully this will avoid confusion for anybody who hasn't played the particular game and wants to know._

_3) I always have trouble with its/it's. "It's" is a contraction for "it is." "Its" is the possessive form of "it." I asked why "it's" couldn't be used as the possessive form and was told because it was already used as the contraction. My question is, if it was going to be the exception to the rule, why is it that one and not the other? Anyway, what I really want to say is thanks, K.T., for picking out all the mistakes I missed. You rock seriously._

* * *

Shamen were strange creatures, robed in blue with unseen faces. The most recognizable of all members of the Shaman category were possibly the Merlon clan from the Paper Mario series, but not all of them were noble and helpful, wise scholars, kind psychics, friendly collectors, or peddler of blessings. Some were drifters, wandering around to learn and spread information, and some were downright nasty, attacking travelers and casting devastating spells upon anybody who was so unfortunate to cross them.

The legendary Shaman of Land's End was one of the most powerful, and nasty, of all known Shaman. For every ounce of good in the world without a direct counterbalance of evil, L.E. Shaman was sure to fill in. He was most famous for doing favors for people, in the most backhanded and cruel way imaginable. On top of that, he demanded an astronomically high price, and not in coins (even Frog coins.) He was the kind of person who made you pay in your soul. Trinkets that meant the world to you, memories of your loved ones, or even years of your life.

Only a strong determination could make anybody go to him knowingly for a favor. Dimentio needed this. His desire for the Lady Bow was his guiding force, and his desire to understand what love meant was driving him.

He found L.E. Shaman shortly, in the rocky landscape sitting on top of an Artichoker, looking off into the setting sun. Dimentio lowered himself until he was hovering at eye level. "You're not difficult to locate," he said.

L.E. Shaman was looking off into the sunset. "You found me because I wanted to be found," he said simply. "I know what you want, and it's going to bring you pain. That's why I'll allow it."

"You know, do you?" said Dimentio flippantly. "What do I want, then?"

"You want the affections of Lady Bow," said L.E. Shaman. "But she rejected you because you are not nobility, you are not a Boo, and you're a creep."

"Yes, I believe that's more or less what she said..."

"I can fix that," said L.E. Shaman. "With one magic spell, you shall become a Boo, and you will be given a symbol of nobility, and thus have a chance to win her affections."

"I accept," said Dimentio without pause.

"It will hurt, of course," continued L.E. Shaman. "And once it's over your skin will never be able to tolerate the feeling of light again, even the palest moonlight. And, of course, if she gives her heart to another, then your Boo body will disintegrate and your soul will return to me, where I'll keep it. Do you accept these terms?"

"Yes," said Dimentio, who doubted he even had a soul to begin with.

"Of course, we haven't even addressed the subject of payment yet." L.E. Shaman waved his hand. "I'm going to want something very close to you... I know. I'll take your voice, and that's quite generous of me. Without it, it will also take care of the fact that she thinks you're a creep." He pinched his glowing eyes as if he was smiling under his hood.

"What do you want with my voice?" asked Dimentio suspiciously.

"I have a lot of threats to call in," said L.E. Shaman.

"You're serious."

"Absolutely not," said L.E. Shaman. "So what do you think? How much do you want to see where happiness comes from?"

Dimentio tossed his head determined to show no uncertainty. "I accept," he said.

L.E. Shaman reached into his robes and pulled out a small, opaque bottle. "Take this," said L.E. Shaman, "and drink it when you desire." when Dimentio placed his hand on the bottle, L.E. Shaman put his hand to Dimentio's throat, made a fist, and withdrew it. Dimentio felt a strong tug. He opened his mouth to protest, but no sound came out.

"You have no voice," said L.E., "as we agreed. And not just your talking. I feel you'll find yourself aphasic- for your voice comes out through writing." He added that last part through meaning, as if people had tested that loophole before.

Dimentio glared. He squeezed the bottle in his hands and looked at it curiously. He weighed it in his hand, as if wondering whether the trade had really been worth it. Then he pocketed it and disappeared.

L.E. Shaman chuckled. "The price a desperate fool will pay," he said cheerfully.

* * *

Back at Castle Bleck, Nastasia and Count Bleck were in his office. Count Bleck was sifting through the many letters they received asking for help, and Nastasia was taking the ones that weren't rejected and assigning a priority to them. Tippi was sitting on the pile of unsorted letters.

"So," said Count Bleck casually, breaking the silence, "how was your talk with Dimentio?"

"Successful," said Nastasia. "Yeah, so we had a heart-to-heart chat, and he seemed to be doing okay."

"Hm. Maybe he'll come out of his room soon," said Tippi. "Oh, look, a letter from Boo's Mansion."

Count Bleck looked up. "What do they want?" Tippi fluttered as Count Bleck took the sheet of paper out from under her. "Hm. Interesting. It says that Lady Bow isn't taking her recent betrothal to the Duke of Banshee Boardwalk's son very well. She doesn't like the idea of a political marriage and refuses to meet him." He handed the letter to Nastasia. "Go ahead and file this."

Nastasia took the paper and scanned it. "Great," she said, filing it under Urgent- Expires Within 30 Days.

Count Bleck returned to the pile, and they plodded on.

* * *

Dimentio appeared in front of Boo's Mansion. It was dark in the forest, spooky and strange. Just how the Boo's liked it. He shuddered, even though he wasn't afraid of ghosts. Then he uncorked the bottle and took a deep breath.

'Goodbye, Count,' he thought as he downed the contents. The change happened right away, and it was awful. Dimentio never dwelt on physical discomfort, but enduring this, he sank them to the ground and curled up until he had no body to curl, he was just a ball. In the night light, he felt like his whole body was covered in a sunburn.

Dimentio got up and checked himself, but he could not see himself. He floated, rather awkwardly, to the door and knocked.

Two Boos, Ned and Larry, answered. "Who are you?" demanded Ned.

Dimentio gestured with his stubby new arms, but his meaning was lost.

"Ooh, look at his brooch!" said Larry with a gasp. "He's a noble. Are you here to see Lady Bow?"

Dimentio nodded eagerly.

"Well, come in!" Larry turned around and hollered, "Hey, everyone! Fetch the lady, we got us a visiting noble!" Dimentio was bustled into the mansion in a flurry of movement and excited whispering.

He caught his reflection in a broken mirror, and had to wiggle his arm to believe it was him. He had a Boo's body, and it was the palest purple, almost white. The brooch that was normally under his chin was attached to his front, but now it had a small symbol on it. He assumed it to be the symbol of nobility that L.E. Shaman had promised him.

'Look at me,' he thought humorlessly.

"All right, all right, move aside!" Lady Bow parted the crowd with her enormous fan. "What's this about a visiting noble?"

Dimentio perked up at the sound of her voice. She spotted him, and her expression changed. It was not, thankfully, in recognition. It was... intrigue, perhaps?

Bootler was behind her. "Who are you to trespass on my Lady's manor uninvited?" he asked sternly.

"Oh, hush up, Bootler," said Lady Bow. "So, you're a noble, eh? Not much to look at... what's your name?" Lady Bow was brash, but there was a certain humor to it, and that was one thing that attracted Dimentio.

Dimentio tried to speak and failed. He sagged, and tapped his mouth.

She smirked. "What's the matter? Koop got your tongue?"

Dimentio smiled. Then he removed the brooch and offered it to her.

"Hm? What's that?" she took it and examined it. "Ohh..." she breathed. "It's so pretty." She handed it back, but Dimentio held up his hands. "Oh," she said, "is this for me?"

Dimentio smiled and nodded. Lady Bow returned the smile and put it on her own chest. "It's so gorgeous." She glanced around and said, "Well... you came all the way here to Boo's Mansion. How would you like a tour?"

Bootler sighed. "Oh, very well, my lady, I'll show him around--"

"I wasn't talking to you, Bootler!" said Lady Bow sharply. Then, sweetly, to Dimentio, "Well, what do you say?"

Dimentio nodded eagerly.

Lady Bow laughed. "You do have a way of communicating, Lord Mime."

'Lord Mime?' thought Dimentio. Well, any nickname bestowed upon him by his beloved Lady Bow was just fine with him.

* * *

Count Bleck knocked on Mimi's door. She answered it in her nightdress, rubbing her eyes. "S'goin' on, Count?" she asked sleepily.

"Mimi, when was the last time you saw Dimentio?" he asked urgently.

"At the party, why?"

"He's not in his room," said Count Bleck. "He's not anywhere in Castle Bleck. No one's seen him in a while."

"You worried?" she asked.

"I like to know where all my minions are," said Count Bleck, "particularly that one."

"Nassy saw him today."

Nastasia spoke up from behind Bleck. "Not for hours and hours."

"Well, I don't know where he is," said Mimi.

"Thank you, said Count Bleck."

Mimi closed the door and went back to bed. Nastasia turned to Count Bleck.

Count Bleck sighed. "He did show up out of nowhere one day, soon after I returned with the minions. I shouldn't be surprised that he would disappear in much the same way. Nastasia, are you certain he didn't say what he was doing?"

Nastasia shook her head. "He never does," she replied. "But... well..." she straightened her glasses. "He said something that struck me as odd. Something that..."

"Yes?" Count Bleck leaned forward.

"Well, something that might have been a good-bye," said Nastasia.

Count Bleck shook his head. "The world is not ready for a lovesick Dimentio."

* * *

Dimentio enjoyed his tour of the castle with Lady Bow, and although he couldn't tell you where any single room was, or even what kinds of rooms they had, he could tell you that Lady Bow had a magnificent way of describing things, and was very knowledgeable about the history of her home, as well as all of it's practical functions.

"You're a wonderful listener, Lord Mime," said Lady Bow as they concluded their tour by the save block out front. "You may not talk much, but you have a lot of personality. You remind me a bit of Mario in that way... although, of course, that's where the similarities end. You're much less uncouth than a shaggy plumber. You're charming... polite... How long are you planning to stay?"

Dimentio gestured loosely, but again was unable to get any complex meaning across.

Lady Bow shrugged. "It doesn't matter. You can stay with us as long as you like. We certainly don't get many visitors around here."

After that, Dimentio and Lady Bow spent the rest of the day in each others company, and the day after that. In fact, come nighttime the day after Dimentio arrived, they were in each others company. The rest of the Boos whispered, of course, but never within earshot of the lady, or Lord Mime.


	4. 14 dash 4

_Boos Manor, Gusty Gulch: Paper Mario  
Banshee Boardwalk: Mario Kart 64  
Land's End: Super Mario RPG__  
Doughnut Plains: Super Mario World_

* * *

Dimentio was in the Guest Room of Boos Manor, where he had been staying, when Lady Bow burst in fuming. Dimentio looked up with concern. Lady Bow began letting off her steam, and Dimentio put himself in an attentive listening position.

"Oh, Lord Mime," said Lady Bow, "I can't delay it any longer. I have to go to Gusty Gulch and meet the duke's son from Banshee Boardwalk."

Dimentio cocked his head.

"I have to get married," Lady Bow explained disdainfully. Dimentio twitched. "Oh, I know," she continued. "I hate the idea, of course, marrying a stranger for political reasons. I don't want to get married at all. But if I did, it would be to someone kind and interesting, someone... well, like you."

Dimentio smiled, and Lady Bow could have sworn that a malicious grin crossed his face before it transformed into a warm and caring smile.

"Oh, would you come with me?" Lady Bow asked. "To Gusty Gulch? Please? I don't want to go with just Bootler nagging at me and clucking like an old mother hen. I'd like a friend. Please, Lord Mime?"

Dimentio nodded. He knew the direct sunlight of the gulch would burn him something awful, but he had to go with her. Of course he wanted to be with her no matter where she went, because he treasured their moments together. He also had to keep her and the duke's son apart, although that part might not actually be so hard. If lady Bow didn't want someone, well, too bad for him.

* * *

Lady Bow put on her best bows, as well as Dimentio's brooch, before leaving. Bootler led the way, with Bow lagging behind. She was whispering to Dimentio, which annoyed Bootler greatly- he did not approve of her friendship with "Lord Mime." Now and again he glanced back disapprovingly, under the guise of checking to see they were keeping up, as if he could not hear exactly where they were.

Dimentio braced himself when they left the forest and they arrived at the edge of Gusty Gulch. The sun was bright and harsh on any merit, but Dimentio felt like he had just been set on fire and was covered tip to tail with white blisters. He grimaced, but was determined to endure.

"Are you all right?" asked Lady Bow.

Dimentio nodded, still grimacing.

"It is uncomfortably hot out here, isn't it?" Lady Bow pulled out a fan and began fanning herself. "I don't know how these Boos stand it."

When they arrived, there was a small gathering of Boos outside near the entrance. Covered by the mob was Lady Bow's future husband, unless she could help it, and his aid, Booman.

Dimentio reeled. Standing off to the side was Count Bleck, with Nastasia by his side. Mimi was standing off by herself, trying to show off her new sundress and matching parasol. Dimentio caught the Count's eye, but there was no glimmer of recognition.

Lady Bow greeted them. "Ah, Count, you came!" She pecked him on the cheek. "I'm so glad."

"I'm here to oversee," said Count Bleck. "I don't believe there's much for me to do."

"All the same" She turned to the crowd. "Now, I suppose I'm ready. Where's my Boo?"

The crowd parted, and in the midst of the gritty, brown Boos was a snow white one. This one looked very ordinary, but when Lady Bow saw him, her eyes widened. "Fredrick?" she breathed.

"Bowbie?" he returned. "They said I was meeting the Lady of Boo's Mansion—I had no idea--"

They rushed to each other for a big Boo hug. "It's been years," she said happily.

"To long!"

Bow turned to Dimentio, holding Fredrick's hand. "Lord Mime, this is Fredrick! We used to play together as children in the Haunted House of Doughnut Planes! I never knew you were the Duke's son!"

"I always wondered what happened to you!" Fredrick said happily. "I tried to look you up, but I only knew you as Bowbie."

"Oh, how wonderful!" She turned to Count Bleck. "I won't be needing you at all! Lord Mime, can you believe my luck?"

She didn't wait for an answer. She and Fredrick began talking rapidly to each other, catching up on old times and filling each other in on all the lost years.

Dimentio fell back, as devastated as he'd been at the party. He wished he could cry, but he didn't. Instead he floated over to Count Bleck and looked up at him.

"Hello, said Count Bleck."

Dimentio didn't respond.

"How may I help you?"

Dimentio looked up with his sad eyes. Then he pantomimed laughing and made a snapping gesture.

Count Bleck's eyes widened. "Dimentio?"

Dimento nodded.

"Oh, Dimentio..." Count Bleck shook his head. "what happened to you?"

Nastasia looked up. "Oh," she said. "You went to the Shaman of Land's End, didn't you?"

Dimentio nodded.

"Come here."

Dimentio allowed himself to be hugged, and he was amazed at the fact that merely allowing another being to lay hands on him could actually feel good. But the hug was very nice, comforting even. How strange.

"Come with me," said Count Bleck. "Let's see if we can fix this at all. Mimi," he called, "we need to go."

"Okay. What's going on?"

"We need to fix Dimentio," explained Count Bleck.

"Oh, is that going to cure him of his lovesick attitude?"

Dimentio glared at her.

"Mimi," said Nastasia, "now is not the time."

Count Bleck held his arms out, and transported them all on their way to Land's End.

* * *

L.E. Shaman was relaxing on a yellow platform, one hand behind his back for support, legs kicking out carelessly over the edge. With his free hand, he was making tiny explosions of sparks, a personal fireworks show. Several Chows and Spiksters had gathered below to watch, an L.E. Shaman was enjoying the attention.

Count Bleck appeared in midair- those watching below were terribly startled and scattered. Nastasia, Mimi, and Dimentio appeared on the ground.

"L.E. Shaman," said Count Bleck coldly. "So I found you."

"You only found me because--"

"You wanted to be found, yes, I know," said Count Bleck dismissively with a wave of his glove. "You aren't much at hiding, out here in the open shooting sparks all over. You must always want to be found desperately."

L.E. Shaman narrowed his eyes. "What do you want, Bleck?"

"I would like you to set my minion right, if you please."

L.E. Shaman leaned over and looked past Count Bleck at the trio below. "Huh," he said. "she looks fine to me. A little homely, but that's attractive in a girl."

Mimi and Nastasia looked at each other uncertainly.

"No, no, I mean Dimentio," said Count Bleck. "You know, the minion of mine you, ahem, 'helped' earlier?"

"Helped?" L.E. Shaman sneered. "Of course I helped. He asked for a favor and I granted it. I told him all the terms and he agreed. I can't refund just because he has buyer's remorse."

"What payment would it take for you to reverse this, then?" Count Bleck asked firmly.

Dimentio looked up, taken by suprise. Was the Count actually offering-- but _really_?

L.E. Shaman looked thoughtful, pondering that question for a moment. "Hm... now, let me see... it would be steep... veery steep indeed..."

Count Bleck's face betrayed no emotion. Dimentio looked on, wide eyed, mouth open in amazement.

"Ah. I know." L.E. Shaman stood up, straightened his robes, and clapped his hands together. "You had a dinner party recently, if I'm not very much mistaken?"

"Yes, I did," said Count Bleck. "I'm sorry you didn't receive an invitation." The insincerity in his voice was smothering.

L.E. Shaman waved his hand. "I don't care for parties. I just wondered, do you have any leftovers?"

"Well, yes..."

"Wonderful. If you bring them to me, I'll undo what happened to Dimentio."

"...Are you serious?"

"Yup."

"Ah... okay." Count Bleck turned to his minions. "Nastasia... could you bring the leftovers here for Mr. Shaman, please?"

"Of course." Nastasia disappeared.

L.E. Shaman tossed a bottle from his sleeve down to the ground. Dimentio tried to catch it but it bounced off his chest and slipped through his arms. Mimi picked it up, uncorked it, and handed it to Dimentio.

Dimentio took a drink and right away the burning of the sun ceased. He felt two feet hitting the ground, and his voice returned. "Ah, I am Dimentio once more!"

"Yay!" Mimi clapped.

Nastasia returned with a bundle of food the size of a Muth in her arms and O'Chunks clinging to her leg. "Yeh can't do it!" he was wailing. "Yeh can't take me leftovers from meh! Ah need 'em!"

"You're making a spectaacle of yourself," scolded Nastasia.

"The fooood," O'Chunks moaned.

L.E. Shaman jumped onto the ground and rubbed his hands together. "Oh, I am going to en-_joy_ this." He looked up at the others. "Leave me be now," he said. "I would like to be alone with the food."

"Happy to oblige, grumbled Count Bleck, and he left L.E. Shaman to his doings."

* * *

Later, in the castle, Mimi went to visit Dimentio. She knocked gently on his door and said, "Um, Dimmy? Can I talk to you?"

"If you must."

They opened the door and saw that Dimentio was out on his balcony, hand folded on the railway, resting his chin. The French doors were open, letting the outside air blow into his room.

"Hey," she said. "How ya doin'?"

"Can you not guess?"

"Oh." Mimi joined him out on the balcony. She hopped up and sat on the rail next to him. "Is there anything we can do?"

"You can leave me to my solitude and misery."

"Nassy says that if you need advice she's always open," Mimi offered.

"Duly noted. Now, if you would please leave."

"You know, if you wanted to go on, like, just one date with Lady Bow... I guess I could sort of turn into her. Just for one date."

"That's both sweet and very creepy," said Dimentio. "Thank you."

"Count Bleck is going to have a meeting before dinner," said Mimi. "So, um, he says you don't have to show up if you don't want to."

"I'll consider it."

"Okay."

Mimi hopped off the rail and left. Dimentio followed her out with his eyes, and he couldn't help thinking that, although there was no one in the world quite like Lady Bow, there was something about the way her hair bounced when she walked, her energetic way of talking, and the way she wore that new sundress that was, at the very least, intriguing.

THE END

* * *

_Next time on The Count's World: Count Bleck comes into possession of train tickets for the Excess Express. But that train and mystery go hand in hand, and when the finger is pointed at the Count, it's up to his minions to clear his name_


End file.
